what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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