No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
PANTIES FOUND
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