I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize