best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I want a musical about memes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
