We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
