So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
