Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize