Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
