Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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