it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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