Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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(201): View more from New Jersey

surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser

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(302): View more from Delaware

Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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(443): View more from Maryland

His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?

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(775): View more from Nevada

I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night

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