Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
