No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
