belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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