Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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