I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
In America we eat man semen.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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