Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
