Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Two words: nipple clamps
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