I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
