I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize