It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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