we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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