I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
