he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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