took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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