Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
