In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there's paper in my vomit.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
