I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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