There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
