hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
