It's Friday. Sex?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't think brook has ever known best
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize