If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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