How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
