dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
