i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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