I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
