If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
