At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
