Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The power of my boobs compel you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize