Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
