I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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