all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
