Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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