shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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