im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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