I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
