dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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