did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
