I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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