what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
