And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
