Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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