How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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