i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
