he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
