i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
