can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
