dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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