I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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