she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
