dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
