I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
