she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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