We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
