She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
