He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
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He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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