dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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