In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
