I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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