I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
